Nerd Rage

Finding a girl that enjoys playing video games is rare. Finding a hot girl that plays video games is one in a million.

Perhaps it is this reason that leads me hate virtually every girl gamer I’ve met. Reasons listed below:

1. They think just because they’re a girl and play video games, it automatically means they’re the coolest girl ever.

2. They frequently use the fact that they have a vagina to get attention from random creeps online. And giggle happily about it.

3. 95% of the time they suck at the game. Focus on my vagina, forget game mechanics!

4. They think all other girl gamers want to be BFFs and “Us girls gotta stick together!”

Just…………..no.

Consequently, the other option is girls that don’t play any video games. Nagging ensues…..boy is miserable…….girl makes boy choose between the two……girl loses.

The couple that games together, stays together.

Or at least that’s my logic. Now fuck off, it’s time to play some World of Warcraft.

Like Totally For Sure

I’m not very old. Mid twenties and yet….I feel old. I’m already saying things like, “Remember back in the day when…”

My cousin is half my age and into Pokemon. “I remember when that shit came out!” (And yes. I still like it.)

“Man, I had the coolest set of Slammers and pogs!”

Any song from either the 80s or the 90s automatically reminds me of my childhood in some form. (I was legitimately shocked to find out that Chumbawumba broke up. I had no idea they were still together/making music.)

Spandex leggings are back and all the rage.

Mosh pits suddenly require far more energy than I can muster. Plus, I ache for days after.

Girls dress horrendously slutty at an incredibly early age. In all fairness, this probably happened back when I was in high school but because we were young and stupid we didn’t consider it slutty.

Everyone I know went out and popped out babies pretty much right off the bat. Now I’m the one getting strange looks because I don’t have a single child. (Nor have I been married or divorced. Blasphemy I say!)

The list could go on and on. If I make it to 30, I’m going to need to stop keeping track of these things or I will surely drive myself batty.