Tag Archives: horror

Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament – Book Review

4 out of 5 stars

“Of course, she screamed when I tried to hug her and she nearly vomited after I sneezed and a piece of my brain came out of my nose, but it’s what passes for quality time around here lately.”

Andy woke up from a fatal car crash a zombie, shambling down the road, confused about where he was while being screamed at and pelted with fruit by people walking down the street. In this world, zombies live among the breathing as secondary citizens. They have no rights, they’re not allowed to do things like ride the public transport and people are allowed to beat them, rip pieces off of them with zero consequences. He has to move back in with his resentful parents and if he gets out of line he gets picked up by the SPCA. It’s a depressing existence so he joins a zombie therapy group to deal with his new ‘life’.

What ensues is a hilariously sarcastic point of view of life after death. Every secondary citizen reaches their breaking point and rebellion and revolution soon follow suit. Plus, you can pick up a few cooking human recipes along the way.

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It’s Wet Here

Come off it perverts! I’m talking about the weather here. It’s raining and grey, and normally I would say perfect reading weather but I have to get some shit done this weekend. Our house warming party is two weeks away as of today and we still have a lot of unpacking to do. On top of that, I’m in a bit of a funk. My husband wants to throw on another bill that we can’t afford right now but I hate being THAT wife that says no to something that he’s passionate about. So I’m a bit ornery right now and have been thinking about things to try to put myself in a better mood and what is better than books?!

I’m slowly crawling my way through this one:

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It’s not any fault of the book’s, in fact it just hit optimal interesting, but between work and stuff to do around the new house, reading has been put on the back burner. Saying that just feels icky. I’m hoping to hit the library this week and pick up a comic book or two to pad my reading for a summer reading program at the library that results in getting free stuff for reading. I’m running behind because I forgot about it altogether. The program started in the beginning of June and I didn’t remember until half way through July.

I’ve been storing up a lot of reading for this autumn. I’m trying to save all paranormal/horror stuff for October and stocking up on books for Science Fiction month in November. I had a lot of fun reading and reviewing all that stuff last year and then promptly burned myself out on those genres for the majority of the year. I’m feeling the itch again finally and now just have to hold out a couple more months.

Hopefully this year Michigan cooperates and I’ll have a more successful Winter of Epic Fantasy.

In conclusion; once I get past this summer, there should only be awesome reading for the rest of 2017.

There. That helped my funk a little bit. What do you do to get out of a funk??

We Are All Completely Fine – Book Review

3.5 stars

I first discovered Daryl Gregory when I read Raising Stony Mayhall and thoroughly enjoyed the take on sentient zombies. He clearly had a unique voice when it came to writing.

We Are All Completely Fine is another fine example. While I didn’t enjoy it quite as much as Stony, it was still something that I had not read before.

A special therapy group formed for survivors of severe trauma leads to something supernatural. Each character experienced something profoundly (and horribly) different from the others but those nightmares bring them together. The goal of therapy is to eventually recover enough to live a normal life. The goal of this therapy group is to weather the shit storm together and hopefully come out of the other end alive.

It’s short and fun and different and a little bit demented, making it a great quick read.

Double Dead – Book Review

4 out of 5 stars

Whoever these dipshit psychopaths are, they’ve claimed this rat-fuck ghost town and I don’t feel like being around when they come back. Plus, they can’t spell for shit, and I don’t trust folks who can’t spell.”

My favorite protagonists are the foul-mouthed, sassy mother fuckers. Coburn delivers all of this and then some. He’s a vampire who has woken up in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. When you live off of the blood of living humans, this is a tad inconvenient. Spending a vampire-life time picking meals off the street, struggling to survive is a foreign concept. It’s tempting to suck the first human you see to death, and maybe you slip up and kill the guy. But, you have to start thinking outside of the box when the only bloodbags walking around are already dead and still trying to eat you.

If you’re a human, it might be nice to have a vampire around to help you survive the zombies. Vampires are quick and strong and can kill off zombies without causing much noise. Tithing a little blood in exchange for protection isn’t a bad deal, especially when you don’t have to spill any blood at all and can just point the vampire in the direction of the local cannibals killing off the few humans left.

This novel was like reading a B-rated horror movie, which just so happen to be my favorite. There is blood, guts, violence, humor and lots of swearing. Basically, a Friday night at my house.

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Evil Dead the Musical

Now that I began my day by waking up with a hideous rash all over my body and it ruined my planned productivity, I’ll write a blog post instead. Silver linings and all that jazz.

We finally did it. We’ve been talking about it for years but we finally suited up and went to see Evil Dead the Musical.

At first, I was apprehensive. You see, if there is one horror movie series that I love above all others, it’s Evil Dead. So I wasn’t sure what I would find when I sat before the theatre stage.

I think I found Valhalla. A horror movie not only made into a stage production but a musical. Fake blood sprayed the audience. At first, I didn’t know what to think of the actor playing Ash, he severely lacked a profound chin. But alas, he was amazing!  (<— That really did deserve an exclamation point.) He spoke just like the character, he swaggered around the stage just like Ash and his humor was on point. So much so, that he schooled an extremely intoxicated (possibly tripping on something) audience member who laughed loudly and obnoxiously at everything. When I say everything, I do mean everything. The stage would be dark while they changed the set, nothing happening and this jack ass is cackling. His wife/girlfriend was desperately trying to get him to quiet down with no results, so Ash insulted him a few times mid-line. The insults were expertly interwoven with the dialogue. “What is that sound out in the woods? And what-the-fuck is that sound coming from the audience?” Security talked to the guy during the performance and after intermission I don’t think they were allowed back in. So, back to all the glorious gore.

If you love Evil Dead, horror movies, theatre, and being splashed with fake gore, you need to fork over $20 and go see the production. (There is of course, a no splash zone for any sissies out there.) It did not disappoint. If fact, I would like to go back every weekend until the production is over.

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Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet

A little questionnaire to get everyone in the holiday mood. I’ll post the questions without answers first to make it easy for everyone to participate if they wish:

  1. What scent sets the holiday mood?
  2. Favorite Halloween Fun Size Candy Bar?
  3. Favorite Halloween movie?
  4. Favorite seasonal sweet?
  5. What toppings are on the perfect candy apple?
  6. What’s your favorite costume you ever wore on Halloween?
  7. Most enjoyable fall tradition?
  8. Pumpkin Patch Hayride or Haunted Hayride?
  9. What song is a must for a Halloween Party Playlist?
  10. Favorite Halloween Monster: Dracula, Frankenstein, etc.?
  11. Cider or Cocoa?
  12. Scary movies or Scaredy cat?
  13. Pumpkin Spice: Yum, or Yuck?
  14. Which is scariest: Spiders, Zombies, or Clowns?
  15. Best find in your Trick or Treat bag?
  16. Worst thing to get in your Trick or Treat bag?

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1. What scent sets the holiday mood?

Dead leaves. Above all else, for me, it’s the smell of dead leaves.

2. Favorite Halloween Fun Size candy bar?

Snickers

3. Favorite Halloween movie?

This is a bastard of a question….I will pick all B-Rated horror movies and you can’t stop me.

4. Favorite seasonal sweet?

Have you been following this blog? Pumpkin AND Caramel Apple.

5. What toppings are on the perfect candy apple?

Caramel and nuts.

6. What’s your favorite costume you ever wore on Halloween?

Catwoman from Batman Returns when I was like 8.

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7. Most enjoyable fall tradition?

Gah. What is it with you people and wanting only one answer? Cider mills.

8. Pumpkin Patch Hayride or Haunted Hayride?

Haunted hayride. I much rather run through the pumpkin patch myself thank you.

9. What song is a must for a Halloween Party Playlist?

The Monster Mash!

10. Favorite Halloween Monster: Dracula, Frankenstein, etc?

Dracula

11. Cider or Cocoa?

Cider! Cocoa is for winter time you fools!

12. Scarey movies or Scaredy cat?

Scarey movies! I am not much of a scaredy cat about anything.

13. Pumpkin Spice: Yum, or Yuck?

How is ‘yuck’ even an option??

14. What is scariest: Spiders, Zombies or Clowns?

Goddamn clowns. Shudders

15. Best find in your Trick or Treat bag?

Reese’s peanut butter cups.

16. Worst thing to get in your Trick or Treat bag?

Mini dental kits. Way to ruin my fun you dentists!

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The Six-Gun Tarot – Book Review

5 out of 5 stars

There are layers to a cake and then there is this handcrafted, masterful art of a seven-layer cake called The Six-Gun Tarot. An orgasmic, literary cake. I stuffed my face with it and Iregret nothing. In fact, I think that I will force feed it to everyone I know.

This cake is not a lie.

It takes a special talent to genre blend. When talking to my boss about this book and its many genres, he commented that it sounded too messy. That is not the case here. R.S. Belcher is a sorcerer. Everything flows together so well that sometimes you have to sit back and think about what you read. For example: I just read an exquisite horror paragraph followed by an epic old fashioned western brawl and it was brilliant.

Fantasy, historical fiction, murder mystery, steampunk, mythology, paranormal, horror, and western. Fucking name it, it’s probably in there.

Jim is a fifteen year old boy trying to find his way through the desert, on his little mustang Promise, running from his past. He ends up where all the people hiding from their troubles end up, Golgotha. Once a booming mining town, it is now mostly filled with Mormons, chinese workers, and poor people in slums that used to work in the mines.
He is immediately accepted by an Injun deputy and the town sheriff who just doesn’t die. But as soon as he arrives strange things begin happening in Golgotha. Stranger than the usual (mysterious rat people). An ancient evil is struggling to free itself from the chains that tie it to the earth below this small, strange town. Jim can help or he can run back to the desert.

There are multiple POVs and each one is great. I can’t pick a favorite. Each adds so much depth to the story (layers, so many fucking layers!)

Read it. If you don’t love it, we’ll have a good ol’ fashioned gunslinger face off to determine the winner. (I’ll win.)

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Heart-Shaped Box – Book Review

3 out of 5 stars

Not as good as NOS4A2, but this appears to be Hill’s first full length published novel, so I’ll try to go easy on him as he seems to get better with each new work. (My review of NOS4A2 here.)

Judas Coyne is a rockstar who slays all the half-his-age tail. None of them are all that meaningful, he calls them only by the state they originate from. Georgia, Florida, etc. Only if they truly mean something to him do they earn the right to their human name. *Please insert eye roll here* But when one of his ex-flings ends up dead, her family goes out of their way to get Jude to buy a haunted suit. Haunted by the girl’s stepfather to be specific. The ghost only wants one thing, for Jude to kill himself and to kill anyone who tries to help Jude.
Continue reading Heart-Shaped Box – Book Review

NOS4A2 – Book Review

4 out of 5 stars

I know it’s not fair to compare a newer author with their legendary author parent, but I’m doing it anyway.

Once upon a time, I used to really enjoy Stephen King books. Then there came a time when I began to feel that King wasn’t really trying anymore. He had a famous name so he could crap something out and people would praise his genius, regardless of if it was actually good or not. I was not one of those people. I was still a teenager when I dumped King. He and I were not seeing eye to eye anymore. I began to feel that his characters were repetitive from book to book, not to mention just down right boring. If I don’t care what happens to your characters, how is it going to effect me when something bad happens to them? It’s not. And if I can skip to about the middle of your book and feel like I haven’t missed anything important, then you’re spending too much time building crappy worlds and crappier plot lines.
Continue reading NOS4A2 – Book Review

Comics – A Review

Well look, I’m not very good a reviewing comic books. I like them. I indulge in them sporadically. I have no idea how to write a review about them. So here are a couple that I’ve recently enjoyed to a great extent (I rated both 5 stars) and that you should check out if comic books are your thing:

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Horror/paranormal: Synopsis here.

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Fantasy/sci-fi: Synopsis here.

What comic books do YOU enjoy?