Red Sister – Book Review

3.5 out of 5 stars

“I hope he comes back full of devils and they eat his heart.”

Where to begin? I hate trash talking an author I consider an auto buy but this one just didn’t quite do it for me. It was enjoyable but I felt sure that there would be a plot twist to surprise me at any moment, that there were red herrings galore and I would be dumbfounded when the truth was unveiled. These are things that I’ve come to expect from a Lawrence book. Turns out, things were pretty much exactly as they seemed.

I had a hard time believing that the older nuns were very deadly. They pretty easily overlooked an obvious villain in their midst. I had a hard time keeping their double names straight as well. I still don’t entirely understand why it’s necessary for them to have two names to begin with.

Can I complain that is wasn’t dark enough? Because it wasn’t, at least not for me. The ending didn’t quite quench my thirst either.

Okay enough bitching. There ARE reasons to read this. Despite my list of complaints, it’s still better than 90% of the garbage out there about girls in special assassin schools. The characters were great, their relationships interesting. They had good personal growth. I’m definitely interested in learning more about the world building in future books. I’m undecided if this is a distant Earth or another planet altogether. Just what kind of lives will our tiny assassins lead in the future? It was a good first installment but I’m hoping for a more fleshed out and coherent sequel.

“All that is given to you is choice: meet it with open eyes and peace in your heart, go gentle to your reward. Or burn bright, take up arms, and fight the bitch.”

Kings of the Wyld – Book Review

5 out of 5 stars

Goblins, wyverns and manticores, oh my!

This novel hit me with some serious World of Warcraft nostalgia.

“Matrick plied his knives like a parade drummer, his rhythm so fast his enemies didn’t know he’d murdered them until their god asked them if they took milk in their tea.”

I’m stretching the classes with this but bear with me:
Clay = warrior
Gabe = paladin
Ganelon = death knight
Matrick = rogue
Moog = mage

A melee heavy group of friends quest together through the dangerous Heartwyld, fighting in dungeons, gearing up for the big raid. At times they faced vicious creatures of the horde, but by working together they conquered their enemies and won new friends to their side.

If you’ve ever played World of Warcraft, you’ll never un-see this comparison now. You’re welcome.

*cough cough* Just had to sneak that in there.

This story literally had it all. Bizarre creatures, princesses, kings, treacherous lands, mercenaries, airships, gladiator arenas, giants, bounty hunters, friendship, love, disastrous relationships, adventure and humor.

“They do look like trouble, at least until the wizard trips on the hem of his robe. He stumbles, cursing, and fouls the steps of the others as he falls face-first onto the mud-slick hillside.”

There is not a single good reason to not read this book. In fact, if you don’t, we can’t be friends anymore.

New House Book Haul

I penny pinched for seemly forever to get this house, so I splurged a little and bought myself some new books as a house warming present. I still don’t have much time for reading but that should be changing in the next week or two, I may as well have a mighty selection to choose from. Of course, after a weekend of doing things, I’m kind of regretting my splurge, but I cannot undo the past.

On the Kindle:

  

Physical copies:

  

I’m about to finally finish Kings of the Wyld and then I’ll be picking up Red Sister as it’s my Goodreads group’s Book of the Month. Super excited to start it though because I love Mark Lawrence.

Strange the Dreamer – Book Review

5 out of 5 stars

Laini Taylor is the master of gods and monsters. I read her Daughter of Smoke & Bone trilogy years ago and loved it (aside from the last book), but in that time, as a reader, your tastes develop. So, I was a little apprehensive that this wouldn’t live up to all the hype for me.

Then, Taylor laid the smack down on me.

She could have wrote gibberish and as long as she did it in her own poetic way, I would still have read the whole damn novel. The writing is only a small portion of the epic that danced across the pages. Lazlo Strange may have just taken rank as one of my favorite male characters. The plot line was alluring, with an ending that is satisfying yet leaves you desperately wanting more. Holding out for the next book is going to be a bitch.

It seems a disservice to regale you with a summary of the story. This is to be tasted by each and every person on their own, sipped like a fine wine. (I don’t drink wine but this is how people have been telling me you do it. You get the description though.) I firmly believe this, I’m not just being a lazy reviewer.

I’m a Winner Dad!

I’m SO horribly pumped about this that I just had to share.

ALL the years I’ve been entering book giveaways on GoodReads and I FINALLY won one!

I’m so excited that I’m going to read this AS SOON AS I get it. Which according to the email will be in 4-6 weeks. Snail mail style.

 

Rat Queens Vol. 1 – Comic Review

5 out of 5 stars

I have the WORST best friend EVER.

She hands me comics and says things like, “I think you’ll love this.”

And then I DO.

Like I need more obsessions.

Thanks dick! ❤

(If you love epic fantasy novels, try this awesome epic fantasy comic. Blood, guts, battles and sass!)

Royal Assassin – Book Review

5 out of 5 stars 

The Farseer Trilogy Book 2 – No Spoilers

I read the first book in this series almost exactly three years ago, before I began reviewing books. I was surprised at how much of it I remembered but not enough to go back and do an actual review. So I will tell you that Hobb roped me in hook, line and sinker. Her writing has a subtle poetry to it. In the first book, the beginning of each chapter feeds you a little of the history of the world you are entering. I found it a clever and enjoyable way to learn the world building.

She continues this in the second book, but the beginning of each chapter explains instead the politics behind the royalty and sometimes background stories of other characters.

I am confident in saying that, if you enjoyed the Song of Ice and Fire series, you will enjoy this as well. Hobb has a way of making small details, rich. If one of the things that you put off of GRRM’s work is the multitude of characters each chapter switches it to, here, you follow only the view of Fitz. This does not make any of the other characters any less important.

Nevernight – Book Review

5 out of 5 stars

If this novel could have an anthem, it would unquestionably be The Exploited’s “Sex and Violence.” If you’re not familiar with the song, YouTube it and get it stuck in your head immediately, much like this book.

Now there isn’t much I can tell you that the synopsis for the book doesn’t cover, while not giving away all the juicy tidbits. So instead, I’ll just tell you about my one major beef and one joyous squeal, that happened out loud and startled my husband.

The worst thing about this entire novel is the constant asterisks and cliff notes. Holy-ever-living-fuck, Batman, were there a metric fuckton of them. So by page 55, I decided to skip every single one. Best decision. If I hadn’t, I don’t know how much longer I would have trudged on. It was that bad. An asterisk infestation. The constant pausing to check the notes really pulled away from the experience of the tale attempting to be told. Since I’ve finished the book, I can solidly tell you that I don’t feel like I missed anything by skipping out on them. I would really love to knock it down a full star for this alone. Alas, gentlefriend, I cannot.

Now that I’ve convinced you to skip the cliff notes, you should definitely give this a whirl, you won’t be disappointed. There’s sex and violence. The writing is good, the characters solid, the world-building awesome. At first the protagonist, Mia, seems a little too “badass heroine that never gets scared or fucks anything up,” but a few chapters in, this is explained and plays beautifully into the rest of the book.

Squeal moment: Book worms are real guys. Not only are they real, they’re monstrous and they eat people who fuck with books. FUCK. YES.

1,2, Mia’s coming for you
3,4, better lock the door
5,6, no lock she can’t pick
7,8, gonna stay up late
9,10, never breath again

Queen of the Darkness – Book Review

5 out of 5 stars

I’m not ready to let go. Do not make me do it. I will slap the shit out of you.

I am pretty excited to read the other Black Jewel novels but holy ever living shit do I not want to let go of these characters. I’m honestly a little bit nauseous thinking about it.
I’ve been through thick and thin with these characters. We’ve seen some fucking dark times and had some great laughs and lived in an indescribable (at least on my part) world full of magic, beauty, death, destruction, torture, kindness and love. We’ve gone to battle more times than can be counted and grieved for our losses while nursing our wounded. We gained unlikely and unusual friends and dealt with horrific betrayals.

Yes, I said we. I was so immersed in this world that I forgot about the realm in which I actually exist.

My review of the first book: Daughter of the Blood – Book Review
My review of the second book: I didn’t do one. I couldn’t bring it to words.

As usual, I feel the need to warn with this series, that it is dark. Perhaps the darkest shit I’ve read to date. Personally, I think that makes it feel all the more real. But that also means that this series is definitely not for everyone.

*cries* Please don’t leave me my Khaleer friends!

Traitor’s Blade – Book Review

5 out of 5 stars

This is my review, I can do what I want, and so I’m going to compare this one to a slow-building orgasm.

Oh yes, you heard me right.

Let me explain:

Through three-quarters of this I was having a pleasant time, it was good but I wasn’t seeing what was so special about it. There is a lot hype surrounding it, much like the popular, cute guy in high school that every girl wants to lose their virginity to but then your friend sleeps with him and informs you that, he was only mediocre. That’s how I was feeling on this little escapade. Then, the last quarter hits and rocks your fucking world.

So yeah, I’ll definitely be back for more.