Covid Testing Hijinx

Unfortunately, we recently started doing Covid testing at my work in the last month. Why unfortunately? Because that means I have direct contact with positive people and my work doesn’t even offer health insurance. So I am bitter as fuck. Also, it makes me even MORE aware of just how stupid the general public is. As an example, some short encounters for your pleasure.

Testing 1:

Coworker: “Have you ever done this test before?”

Patient: “No.”

Proceeds to stick swab all the way down their throat before he can respond.

It’s a nasal swab.

Testing 2:

Results for patient come back inconclusive because there was nothing on the swab.

Patient: “Oh, I used the other side of the stick without the swab. I thought that was weird.”

Story from another area pharmacy:

Patient takes test tube out of technician’s hand, licks the tube, and hands it back.

This virus is never going to end.

27 thoughts on “Covid Testing Hijinx

  1. Wait, your coworkers have been alive the whole pandemic and don’t know the swab is nasal?? Ugh. I had a flu test about ten years ago, and it was so traumatizing that I swore I would never do it again. Fortunately, when I got into college and they required a test, we could do it ourselves (and it wasn’t the brain poke version). Your examples have made me realize that they let anyone do these tests, and that’s…horrifying.

    Glad you got your booster.

    1. Um, no. It was the person being tested that ate the swab. My coworker didn’t even get a chance to instruct them on how to administer the test. It’s one that they just have to rub the swab around the inside of the nostril.
      What do they do for a flu test?

      1. Uuuuuugh, the flu test is that swab up the nose that goes as far back as the ear (if you look at a side picture with the cut away). And the girl who did it had never done it before. It was extremely traumatizing, and I get upset thinking about it even today. I knew I didn’t have the flu; I repeatedly told the ready care doctor that we had discovered the water heater closet on the other side of our apartment wall had a slow leak that we didn’t know about and had molded this rug we owned. She rug shamed me and then did a flu test. Perhaps I assumed your coworker was the scary one because that was my experience. I shall tell Nick he was right, that it wasn’t the pharmacy person who put the swab in the person’s mouth!

      2. I could use the swab down the throat method for punishment when I get a difficult person next time though. *JAB* Okay, now stick this other swab in your nose. 😛
        Who the fuck RUG SHAMES someone?! That might be the most bizarre part of the story. That test sounds absolutely awful though. I don’t blame you for being scarred! I had one really bad shot in my life and now I get involuntary neurotic for the flu shot every year. I know it doesn’t hurt but the anxiety just creeps up anyway.

      3. I think this doctor’s second language was English and there was some confusion. It seemed like she was under the impression that my rug had mold but I didn’t want to get rid of it because I was too attached to the rug. Erm, no, lady, I learned the rug has mold and now I’m dying. Haaaalp!

      4. I have had that done 4 times since covid started. It was worse every time.
        The tests we do at my work, they just have to run the swab around the inside of the nostril for 10 seconds each side. When they complain about that, I want to slap them and be like, “you have NO idea how good you’ve got it!”

      5. Ohhhhhhhh my gawd you’re kidding. I know my blogger friend Bill from Australia had to do that “gold standard” test every time he crossed territories. And he’s a trucker.

  2. Yeah, I’ve gotten throated with a nasal swab before—shockingly, I tested negative! I’m sorry that you have to deal with dumb people, but… um. Yup, that pretty much just sucks. Hugs and encouragement from 2000 miles away!

  3. I’m guessing these people are being willfully idiots??
    I’ve now had all 3 types of PCR tests. That nasopharyngeal (sp) one is so weird! (and it was 1/3 the price of a PCR test in the US)
    So does your pharmacy not have drive through? The PCR tests are self administered that way at CVS here. They even give you a few nasty smelling wipes to clean the collection box after.
    Your comments made me laugh. I hope you don’t experience anymore dumbasses.

    1. We do not have a drive thru. Which, until Covid, I was fine with because then people try to get you to do their over the counter shopping for them while they wait. Now I wish we did. We do them curbside and mostly the administer it themselves and then we wipe down the test tube and put it a biohazard bag to send off to the lab. While I was away on vacation, I was informed that an area doctor came IN the store for the testing and was asked to pull their car up out front. Instead, she walked around looking at things and the pharmacist had to ask her to leave again. To which she responded, “I am Dr. So-and-so and I want to see the dermalogical section for my patients.” Meanwhile, she’s coughing uncontrollably.
      I hope I don’t experience anymore dumbasses either but something tells me this won’t be the last one. :3

  4. What the actual fuck? So you’re testing for Covid and your job doesn’t even offer insurance? This is why I hate everything. Dealing with the general public tells you everything you need to know about the state of education in this country. It’s absolutely awful. Today I saw people arguing that 3 to the power of 2 was 6 and they anyone who didn’t agree were idiots. It’s bad enough to be wrong. It’s even worse to be wrong and loud, but when you’re wrong, loud, AND you think you’re right, I don’t see how there’s any hope.

    1. Yep! Better yet, I checked out the open market for insurance recently and the “affordable” plans have $17,400 deductibles. Rob needs to see some specialists and those aren’t covered until you hit your deductible. D:<
      The ones that think they're right are always the loudest. I love when they get pawned with facts though and you sit there and watch their wheels turn and nothing comes out of their mouths. They cannot compute that they were incorrect.

      1. JFC…it’s like “guess I’ll just die” *shrug* As a fellow sufferer of non-normal bullshit I commiserate. For the most part I can deal with mine so long as I don’t have to do much, but if your situation is more dire and needs attention wtf are you supposed to do?

        There’s this aversion to admitting you’re wrong because you want to maintain your image, but they don’t realize that doubling down in your wrongness just tarnishes it more.

  5. Can you hear me laughing? OMG but this pandemic has brought out the worst and most stupid in mankind. No, I’m not going to try and make that gender perfect. Time for double masks, face shield, and gloves. I refrain from commenting about no insurance because it could get ugly here. Stay well however you have to do it.

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